Sunday, June 14, 2009

More of the same.

I found a web site describing the difference between psychologists and phychiatrists. It says that phychiatrists earn more money for 3 or 4 15 minute medication management sessions than he does for a single session of actual therapy. I think I have gotten a phychiatrist who is more interested in the money than in his patients. I doubt that I have ever spent even 10 minutes with him let alone 15. It certainly does not give you any great feeling of confidence in a doctor you never get to know. Worse he speak with an accent and snacks while he talks to me. I don't know what my choices are but I am going to do some searching. My phychatrist failed to call my pharmacy this last moth to make a needed change to my prescription. He still has not done it and I am not scheduled to see him until August. How can a doctor properly manage medicine with appointments 3 or 4 months apart and no way to get ahold of him. I already feel like a lab rat with out a doctor who has such an attitude. I don't think there is much risk in offending him because I do not think he would read my blog and I am not using his name Even though it wouldn't be hard for anyone to figure it out once they knew where I see my councilor. This isn't even what I was going to write about tonight but it is what came out. Maybe I will feel better after I voice my opinions, but I won't feel better about some things until they get changed. There are other things that would only cause a stink if I said what I thought about them.

I didn't write last time about geting a kitten as an early Father's Day present. I named her Annie and she is either into everuthing of sleeping. There isn't much in between. I have been enjoying herto the dismay of my black lab who doesn't like to share..

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Finally a New Post

First I want to apologize to everyone who actually reads this and missed it. A good share of the reason I have been gone is the doctors experimenting with my meds again. The 1st one didn't work at all and the 2nd left me like a zombie until the does was cut way back and I am not sure it shouldn't be cut back even more. They have collectively decided that I am bi-polar. I now understand why bi-polar people do not want to take their meds. The worst you are when you are riding the roller coaster of up and down is better than being a zombie with no feeling about anything. IT just makes you easier to live with, I am very close to quitting this one even with the very small does I am taking. I don't get depressed much anymore, but I also have no creativity left in me. It scares me that it might not come back when I quit. It hasn't gotten much better as I have cut back. I am scared that if I quit altogether I will get the deep depression, but none of the creativity again. The doctors are just experimenting on us. They even say so. They tell you that the stuff they give you helps some people. They are pretty damned vague about what it does to the others.. I have to talk to my dear sweet wife about it though. She had to live with me when I ride the roller coaster up and down. This is not easy to write about your self being bi-polar. It still has a stigma attached to it in our society and the doctors are still using us for lab rats with the meds. Now you know why I haven't been posting and why there has been no art. There has not been a bit of creativity left to get me drawing. I hope my wife can live with me if I quit talking the meds because I don't really have a life right now. The next time someone who is bi-polar says they can't not take their meds try to be more understanding. The meds may be robbing them of who they really are.

Your prayers, best wishes or what every you believe in would be appreciated so I can get my creativity back without having to spend half my time so depressed all I want to do is cry.