The End and a Begining

Well the end is that I signed the divorce papers and it will finally be over. maybe now I can get on with my life. I haven't felt married for a long time but it is still sad that marriage failed.

Well I am not off to a flying start getting back to this. The person who said I should start back up is doing worse than I am though. I have no idea who reads this. The dashboard says I have 6 followers but for some reason will not tell me who they are. I know who three are and no idea about the other three. I guess it doesn't much matter because I am not really writing for anyone else.

I guess I should say that I am off of any pain medication stronger than hydrocodone which is huge after living most of three years in a morphine fog. I have been off of anything stronger for more than six months. It means dealing with more pain but it also means I can think clearly again. I know I know, a lot of times I still feel I don't think so clearly and at times I think they are right. Not getting into details right now because a lot of it involves other people who would prefer to remain anonymous for now. Hopefully not forever.

This being in the middle of a divorce is for the birds. The marriage is over for sure but I am still stuck in limbo as far as relationships go. I am doing OK living alone because I was mostly alone when I was with my wife but I do not like having someone around. I have talked to others in my position and the feeling seems to be pretty much universal. There is also wondering if you are going to end up alone in your old age at this point in life.

The last few months seem to be times of getting really involved in life and then times of not really caring much but going through the motions. I am trying to pull out of one of those right now. Trying to get back to drawing, writing and getting done the things that need doing when they should be done. Hopefully eventually I will even out and get on with a somewhat normal life. It has been so long that I am not sure what that it any longer.

There is more that I would like to write but have to keep to myself for now. I need to get moving and go work on a computer if I can have access to it today.

Time to start writing again

I am starting to write again because someone I care dearly about says I should. Why they think what I write is so great I have no idea and some of the things I would most like to write about I can't right now.

When I quit my wife and I had separated and I was hoping we could work things out. Not going to happen. She filed for divorce and all that is left to do is agree on what it will cost her to buy out of the house. Enough said on that. I am working on getting on with my life and not sitting around feeling bad about something already dead.

My art has been on the shelf as long as this blog has and I am finally starting a new drawing. It remains to be seen how rusty I am. At least I finally got started again.